This is an interview I have done with a girl called Riley Georgia Neighbour, who also went to the same Secondary School as me back home. I thought it would be interesting to ask her a few questions including her name change, generally lifestyle being 20 years old and a mother of two kids, and the plans she has for the future with her husband.
Brandon: Hey! Just quickly, have you changed your name to ‘Riley Georgia’?
Riley: My middle name was always Georgia, but I legally changed my first name yeah.
Brandon: Oh, what made you change your name? Sorry if the question is a bit too personal.
Riley: Well, it’s up-to you but most people won’t like the answer. It’s a bit deep.
Brandon: Ooh, that sounds interesting!
Riley: I had 14 years of sexual abuse and they tracked me down so I moved. Changed my name, found the love of my life and married him.
Brandon: Oh shit! I didn’t realise it was that deep but some people may find that interesting. Sorry to hear that! Well, I thought I’d just move on with a simple question; what’s your name, how old are you and what do you currently do?
Riley: I’m Riley, I’m 20 years old and I’m on maternity leave at the moment. But I’m a carer for the disabled and the elderly.
Brandon: Ok. That’s really nice! So, I remember you from Secondary school and we did have several conversations (I believe), but I was just curious as to what you enjoyed/didn’t enjoy about school?
Riley: I was horrifically bullied so I pretty much didn’t go in a lot of the time…
Brandon: Aww, that’s sad to hear, but were there any positives from the school experience? x
Riley: Well, I met Arthur’s dad through people at school? And we’re not together anymore but he gave me my precious oldest boy.
Brandon: Well that’s good then? You might not be on good terms with the father anymore but at least he helped provide you with a beautiful child. So, speaking of children when you found out you were pregnant with your first son, what were your initial thoughts?
Riley: My head was a mess honestly. I was in a bad place and I was only 15 at the time. I was a baby myself! Me and his dad do get on, but we’re better off seperate now. It was really hard at first and I thought I knew everything, but let me tell you; no one is ready for a child.
Brandon: Oh god! So all these 13/14 year olds who are having unprotected sex don’t have that much to look forward to and are giving themselves more stress than they can handle ayy?
Riley: I would definitely say so. I don’t regret my kids at all, but it’s bloody hard work. I’m on Number 3 and still not prepared.
Brandon: Oh wow! I remember when it was just the one, but I’m guessing you’ve got the hang of it now aha? What’s it like being at home taking care of the children…like, what other responsibilities do you have as a mother, and do you share the priorities with the father? x
Riley: It is most definitely sharing priorities. We both work, we both earn and we both parent. We share the work load to be honest and parenting is not easy. You don’t just ‘get to grips’ with it. I’m still not sure what I’m doing half the time, but my kids are happy and healthy, and well loved, and that’s all I want to be honest. Arthur is a right cracker and smiles all the time, and George is really cheeky. Me and their dad’s just love being around them!
Brandon: Aww, well that all sounds good then! I’m sure it’s not always been posirive for you. Did you ever experience hate (whether it was at school, by family, strangers etc) about the choices you made? And how did you become stronger and fight back? x
Riley: Yeah, I mean. There was a lot of hate from people around us that didn’t understand it. But how could they? We didn’t even understand it ourselves. But I truly believe that when you find ‘the one’; you will know. Which is why I married Jayson. With him by my side, I can fight anything and we’re stronger together.
Brandon: Yeah exactly! Being on your own and trying to fight battle you don’t even know how to fight is very difficult! But you’ve got through it and Jayson seems lovely from the pictures you’ve posted on Facebook. Did you ever speak to any councillors or get any outside support whilst being pregnant? Or were you worried that they would just judge you?
Riley: I was under Camhs for a little while, but they kept changing councillors and I couldn’t deal with it. I did a lot of it with support from a few friends, people I consider family and Jayson. He’s been there since Arthur was 10 months old, even though we didn’t get together until the January after his first birthday.
Brandon: What’s Cahms?
Riley: It’s like a counselling service for young people? But they’re pretty crap. No one rates them at all.
Brandon: Oh right ok aha! Well, it’s good that the support you had, ACTUALLY supported you and weren’t just there for the fun of it! That’s always good. Well, another personal question then, I know the giving birth stage is different for every woman, but as you have already experienced it; what’s it like?
Riley: See, this is a good question because I’ve had two very polar opposite births.
Arthur was born at 42 weeks, he was 2 weeks late and weighed 6lb 6oz. I honestly don’t believe it hurts as much as everyone says, and I only had gas and air as pain relief. I was in labour for three days and contractions started off as a severe belly ache and turned into cramps. Then it was just constant until he was born. He was so tiny and all of his clothes were too big for him, but he was healthy and we went home the next morning.
Brandon: Oh wow! That’s probably one of the most simple birth stories I’ve ever heard. And for George, I’m assuming it wasn’t the same story? x
Riley: George on the other hand, was premature. He was born at 33 weeks and 5 days. I had premature rupture of waters, so they tried to induce, but he was so little that they just couldn’t do it. I was rushed in for an emergency C-Section (which is honestly the weirdest feeling). You’re numb, so there is no pain, but you can feel everything and the only thing I could compare it to, was someone doing the washing up IN MY STOMACH! He spent two weeks in the Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit. Learning how to eat and grow; only weighing in at 4lb. It was a really traumatic experience. I was awake so people were moving me and touching me, but I couldn’t feel anything past my shoulders; I could just see it all happening.
Brandon: Wow. I don’t even know what to say to that answer. It felt like people doing washing in your stomach but you couldn’t feel a thing??? That would be worse for me because I’d doubt if I was even real- but glad it turned out alright. So, final question then. School’s finished, you’ve given birth to two lovely children (with a third on the way). What are you planning on doing now and do you have any plans for the future?
Riley: I couldn’t feel any pain. I felt pretty much everything else but it was all numbed. It was very very weird. And yes, me and my husband intend to become foster parent, and open our home to loving children that don’t have one!
Brandon: Aww well it’s amazing you didn’t feel the pain, and it’s great that you guys are thinking of starting a foster parents project in the future! How many children do you think you’ll be able to legally adopt?…Because surely there’s a limit; unless you live in a mansion?
Riley: We’re not sure about adoption, more being a stepping stone to help those children along the way that have had some breakdowns, or as an alternative to a children’s home…
Brandon: Oh right! Something like Annie? But instead of a boarding school, it would just be somewhere that children can come to, to feel safe; and then eventually go off to other loving parents?
Riley: Yes! Like that.
Brandon: Amazing! Well, it sounds like you’ve pretty much got your future planned out! I just want to say a massive thank you again for taking part in this little interview for me. Good luck with whatever the future throws at you!
Riley: No worries. Happy to have helped. x
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